Episode 53 – The Christmas Carol Customer Experience

Enjoy a series of “Christmas carol” variations as we explore call center agent best practices, the downside of a new website, the value of customers, the importance of keeping customers, the impending arrival of AI bots, twelve things to fix in the new year, and a holiday wish for listeners of the Show.

Reindeer, Jingle Bells, and Santa Claus – Oh my!

[Christmas Carol Remix] Randy the Call Center Agent (to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)[2:24 – 4:51]

Here’s where we take the well-known song about everyone’s favorite reindeer to tell the story of everyone’s favorite call center agent, Randy. In this version of the song, Randy goes from zero to hero, providing a fantastic experience to his customers.

Randy, the call center agent
(David Grant: press 8 to speak to someone)
Spends every day on the phone
(David Grant: please hold)
Listening to complaining customers
(Joe Dziedzic: this is my third call!)
And feeling like he’s all alone.
(David Grant: poor Randy)

[Christmas Carol Remix] Navigating Your New Homepage (to the tune of Winter Wonderland)[4:57 – 6:22]

In this remix, we’re singing about something we’ve all experienced. What happens when a website you regularly use changes their homepage without warning? It’s certainly not a wonderland…

I used to know how to type my password
but now I have to choose a new one
You’re cause-ing my memory to be blurred
And I swear to you it’s really no fun

[Christmas Carol Remix] Customers (to the tune of Jingle Bells)[6:28 – 8:15]

What is the one thing your business can’t live without? This remix is all about the customer! This song will remind you of the secret to your success.

It’s not just revenue
It’s not just our stock price
What really matters most of all is truly twice as nice!

[Christmas Carol Remix] Keep The Customers (to the tune of Deck the Halls) [8:21 – 11:17]

You’ve attracted new customers – great! Now you need to keep them. This Christmas carol remix is all about the importance of retaining customers and ways you can maintain a great relationship with them.

Let’s use the tools we have to help this
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Consider every touchpoint don’t miss
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Customize and make enhancements
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Surprise, delight, and give wow moments
Fa la la la la, la la la la

[Christmas Carol Remix] AI Bots are Comin’ to Town (to the tune of Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town) [11:23 – 13:43]

Here’s a remix relevant in today’s high-tech world. Metadata is not only aiding businesses to better know their customers, it is also helping those same businesses accurately predict a customer’s future wants and needs!

They track you when you’re sleeping
They know when you’re awake
They know what you are gonna do next
With algorithms it’s a piece of cake…

[Christmas Carol Remix] The Twelve Fixes for the New Year (to the tune of Twelve Days of Christmas) [13:49 – 18:29]

There is always room for improvement in business, and this next remix provides a dozen ways to make it even easier for your customers to do business with you! What 12 things can you improve this year to remove obstacles and pain points for your customers?

The third major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Three lost deals
Two broken links
And a mobile app that always seems to crash

[Christmas Carol Remix] We Thank You For Always Listening (to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas) [18:35 – 22:19]

We are so grateful to all of you who choose to spend a part of your day with us. To show our appreciation, our final remix is an ode to you – our loyal listeners!

Dan Gingiss: We thank you for always listening,
We thank you for always listening,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Joey Coleman: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Links We Referenced

We didn’t reference any links during this show, but you’ll probably enjoy this one:

Twelve Days of Christmas” performed by Straight No Chaser

Host Contact Information

Tweet Dan Gingiss: @DGingiss

Email Joey: JoeyC@JoeyColeman.com

DanGingiss.com

JoeyColeman.com

Subscribe to Experience This on Apple Podcasts

Episode Transcript

Download a transcript of the entire episode (Episode 53) or read it below:

[SHOW INTRO]

Welcome to Experience This – where you’ll find inspiring examples of customer experience, great stories of customer service, and tips on how to make your customers love you even more. Always upbeat and definitely entertaining, customer retention expert Joey Coleman and social media expert Dan Gingiss serve as your hosts for a weekly dose of positive customer experience.

So, hold on to your headphones. It’s time to Experience This!

[EPISODE 53 INTRO]

Dan Gingiss: Get ready for another episode of the Experience This! Show!

Joey Coleman: Join us for a VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EPISODE where we’ll discuss

Dan Gingiss: Woah, hold on… Folks – we’re going to do things a little differently for this episode. We’ve taken some of our favorite Christmas carols and re-written the lyrics to make the songs all about customer experience! Now, we realize not all of our listeners celebrate Christmas, but we hope you can join us in the holiday spirit and have a little fun with these songs.

Joey Coleman: As if a Christmas Carol Episode wasn’t surprising enough, we’ve also invited two friends – David Grant and Joe Dziedzic – to join us in the singing. Now to be clear, none of us – absolutely none of us – are professional singers… we all have day jobs. But Joe and Joey sang together in the Notre Dame Glee Club back in college, and Dan, David and Joe sang together in The Bottom Line when they were getting their MBA’s at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern. So this is somewhat of a reunion of sorts…

Dan Gingiss: In fact, this episode is a bit of a throwback to the first time that Joey and I actually met! Joey came to visit his college roommate Joe at grad school – and Joe introduced Joey to Dan.

Joey Coleman: And the rest, as they say, is history…

Dan Gingiss: Awww – I thought you were going to go with “a match made in Heaven?!”

Joey Coleman: Yea, yea – that too… So without further adieu, we hope you enjoy our very special Christmas Episode

Dan Gingiss: Reindeer, Jingle Bells, and Santa Claus – Oh my!

[SEGMENT INTRO][CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX] . . . jingle bells . . .

[CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX: Randy the Call Center Agent – to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer]

Joey Coleman: Our first song is all about the trials and tribulations of a call center agent who undergoes a special transition one fateful night…

Dan Gingiss: Performed to the tune of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,” we hope you enjoy “Randy the Call Center Agent”

Joey Coleman:
You know phone trees and live chat
Hold times and resolutions
Call centers and agents
NPS scores and telesolutions…
But when you need someone to help,
What is the best number to call?

Dan Gingiss:
Randy, the call center agent
(David Grant: press 8 to speak to someone)
Spends every day on the phone
(David Grant: please hold)
Listening to complaining customers
(Joe Dziedzic: this is my third call!)
And feeling like he’s all alone.
(David Grant: poor Randy)

Joey Coleman:
All of the other agents
(David Grant: may I help you)
Settle tickets left and right
(David Grant: please call again)
They don’t seem to be bothered
(David Grant: that’s against policy)
With shifts that last all through the night.
(David Grant: NICE overtime!)

Dan Gingiss:
Then one particularly busy night,
(David Grant: we’re experiencing unusual call volume)
with the wait-time board lit up red,
(David Grant: bad NPS)
Randy took a nasty call
(Joe Dziedzic: are you kidding me?!)
and something clicked in his head.
(David Grant: I’ve got this!)

Joey Coleman:
He started to speak more gently
(David Grant: I’m sorry this happened to you)
any let the caller really vent
(Joe Dziedzic: I’m just so frustrated!)
then Randy did something special
(David Grant: let me ask my supervisor)
and refunded every dollar and cent!
(Joe Dziedzic: wow, I wasn’t expecting that!)

Dan Gingiss:
Randy became quite famous
(David Grant: employee of the month)
and started to have a ball,
(David Grant: how can I help you?)
The moral of this service song
(Joe Dziedzic: what do I do now?)
Don’t email support – just call!
(David Grant: an agent will be with you shortly…)

[SEGMENT INTRO][CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX]

. . . jingle bells . . .

[CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX: Navigating Your New Homepage – to the tune of Winter Wonderland]

Dan Gingiss: Next, we’ve taken a classic seasonal song from 1934 and re-written it to reflect an experience we’ve all had in our increasingly digital world here in 2018…

Joey Coleman: Based on the song “Winter Wonderland,” we hope you enjoy “Navigating Your New Home Page.”

Dan Gingiss:
Hey what’s this?
I am search-ing
On this page,
things are change-ing
A beautiful site
Is different tonight
I’m navigating your new home page

Joey Coleman:
Gone a way,
is the old one
Here to stay,
is the new one
I was humming along
didn’t see what was wrong
(now) I’m navigating your new home page

Dan Gingiss:
I used to know how to type my password
but now I have to choose a new one
You’re cause-ing my memory to be blurred
And I swear to you it’s really no fun

Joey Coleman:
Later on,
I’ll be swearin’
Social media
will be blarin’
I’m really ticked off
you’re causin’ me to scoff
I’m navigating your new home page

[SEGMENT INTRO][CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX]

. . . jingle bells . . .

[CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX: Customers – to the tune of Jingle Bells]

Joey Coleman: Now we’d like to share a holiday favorite. It’s one of the best known, most commonly sung American songs in the world and was first published way back in 1857!

Dan Gingiss: We’re happy to present the Experience This Show!’s version of “Jingle Bells” – entitled “Customers”

Dan Gingiss: (verse)
Building a big brand
takes much more than just luck
there’s something that must stand
or else we will be stuck
It’s not the lowest price
It’s not the best discount
what really matters most of all is truly paramount

Joey Coleman: (chorus)
Customers
customers
they are all we’ve got
if they run then we are done and then we’ll be for-got
Oh
Customers
customers
they are all we’ve got
if they run then we are done and then we’ll be forgot

Dan Gingiss: (verse)
Once we have them in
we must keep them satisfied
we don’t want them to leave
completely mystified
it’s not just revenue
it’s not just our stock price
what really matters most of all is truly twice as nice

Joey Coleman: (chorus)
Oh
Customers
customers
they are all we’ve got
if they run then we are done and then we’ll be forgot
Oh
Customers
customers
they are all we’ve got
if they run then we are done and then we’ll be forgot

[SEGMENT INTRO][CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX]

. . . jingle bells . . .

[CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX: Keep the Customers – to the tune of Deck the Halls]

Dan Gingiss: Now we’re going to take things way back in history. This next song is a Welsh melody from the 1500s, that had English lyrics added – by a Scottish musician – in the late 1800s.

Joey Coleman: This one definitely hits close to home for me in so many ways… As you think about your end of year customer efforts and set goals for making things better in the year to come, hopefully our version of “Deck the Halls” can serve as inspiration. We hope you enjoy “Keep the Customers”

Joey Coleman:
Our customers seem to be leaving
Fa la la la la, la la la la
We can’t determine what they’re needing
Fa la la la la, la la la la
They seemed so happy when we started
Fa la la, la la la, la, la, la
But now they all seem broken hearted
Fa la la la la, la la, la, la

Joe Dziedzic:
We closed the deal and celebrated
Fa la la la la, la la la la
The entire sales team felt elated
Fa la la la la, la la la la
But then we had a shaky hand off
Fa la la, la la la, la, la, la
And now communication’s dropped off
Fa la la la la, la la, la, la

David Grant:
The customer is getting snappy
Fa la la la la, la la la la
The account rep says that she’s not happy
Fa la la la la, la la la la
The scope is creeping like a fungus
Fa la la, la la la, la, la, la
And everyone agrees that they don’t like this
Fa la la la la, la la, la, la

Dan Gingiss:
We need to save this ship from sinking
Fa la la la la, la la la la
We need some fresh, creative thinking
Fa la la la la, la la la la
We must achieve better retention
Fa la la la la, la la la la
It’s time we start to pay attention
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Joe Dziedzic:
Let’s use the tools we have to help this
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Consider every touchpoint don’t miss
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Customize and make enhancements
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Surprise, delight, and give wow moments
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Joey Coleman:
So if you suffer from defection
Fa la la la la, la la la la
And your revenues need some protection
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Get your team to heed our warning
Fa la la, la la la, la, la, la
And focus on customer onboarding
Fa la la la la, la la, la, la

[SEGMENT INTRO][CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX]

. . . jingle bells . . .

[CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX: AI Bots are Comin’ To Town – to the tune of Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town]

Joey Coleman: Our next song was an instant classic when it was first released. In fact, they sold over 500,000 copies of the sheet music and more than 30,000 records within the first 24 hours!

Dan Gingiss: Now that’s an impressive product launch! We’re not sure if our version will be quite as big of a hit, but we know the topic is something everyone in customer experience is thinking about and talking about this holiday season. We hope you enjoy our revised version of “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” – which we’re calling “AI Bots are Comin’ to Town”

Joey Coleman: [Chorus]
You better watch out
Cuz’ they’re watching you
Each time you click “like”
They learn what to do,
AI Bots are coming to town

They’re taking the data
and sharing with quants
They’re gonna find out
Which things that you want,
AI Bots are coming to town

Dan Gingiss: [Pre-Chorus]
They track you when you’re sleeping
They know when you’re awake
They know what you are gonna do next
With algorithms it’s a piece of cake…

Joey Coleman:
Ohhh
You better watch out
Cuz’ they’re watching you
Each time you click “like”
They learn what to do,
AI Bots are coming to town

Dan Gingiss:
The times they are a changin’
the future’s already here
The tech team has been working
and will implement next year

Joey Coleman:
Ohhh
You better watch out
Cuz’ they’re watching you
Each time you click “like”
They learn what to do,
AI Bots are coming to town

Dan Gingiss:
The robot revolution
will very soon arrive
this isn’t the stuff of sci-fi
it’s hap’ning while you’re alive

Joey Coleman:
Ohhh
You better watch out
Cuz’ they’re watching you
Each time you click “like”
They learn what to do,
AI Bots are coming to town
AI Bots are coming to town

[SEGMENT INTRO][CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX]

. . . jingle bells . . .

[CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX: The Twelve Fixes for the New Year – to the tune of Twelve Days of Christmas]

Dan Gingiss: Our next song is already famous around the world for its many lyrical variations. Throughout history the song has been amended to fit the local customs and traditions where the song is being sung.

Joey Coleman: We happy to present our amended version of the “Twelve Days of Christmas” – which we affectionately refer to as “The Twelve Fixes for Next Year.”

David Grant: The first major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
David Grant: A mobile app that always seems to crash

Dan Gingiss: The second major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

Joey Coleman: The third major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

Joe Dziedzic: The fourth major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

David Grant: The fifth major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
David Grant: Five spammy emails
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

Dan Gingiss: The sixth major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Dan Gingiss: Six systems failing
David Grant: Five spammy emails
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

Joey Coleman: The seventh major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Joey Coleman: Seven pages loading
Dan Gingiss: Six systems failing
David Grant: Five spammy emails
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

Joe Dziedzic: The eighth major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Joe Dziedzic: Eight agents screaming
Joey Coleman: Seven pages loading
Dan Gingiss: Six systems failing
David Grant: Five spammy emails
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

David Grant: The ninth major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
David Grant: Nine phone lines holding
Joe Dziedzic: Eight agents screaming
Joey Coleman: Seven pages loading
Dan Gingiss: Six systems failing
David Grant: Five spammy emails
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

Dan Gingiss: The tenth major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Dan Gingiss: Ten tweets ignoring
David Grant: Nine phone lines holding
Joe Dziedzic: Eight agents screaming
Joey Coleman: Seven pages loading
Dan Gingiss: Six systems failing
David Grant: Five spammy emails
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

Joey Coleman: The eleventh major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Joey Coleman: Eleven cards declining
Dan Gingiss: Ten tweets ignoring (don’t ignore my tweets!)
David Grant: Nine phone lines holding
Joe Dziedzic: Eight agents screaming
Joey Coleman: Seven pages loading
Dan Gingiss: Six systems failing
David Grant: Five spammy emails
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two stinkin’ broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash

Joe Dziedzic: The twelfth major pain point we’ll have to fix next year:
Joe Dziedzic: Twelve shipments delaying
Joey Coleman: Eleven cards declining
Dan Gingiss: Ten tweets ignoring
David Grant: Nine phone lines holding
Joe Dziedzic: Eight agents screaming
Joey Coleman: Seven pages loading
Dan Gingiss: Six systems failing
David Grant: Five spammy emails
Joe Dziedzic: Four pop-up ads
Joey Coleman: Three lost deals
Dan Gingiss: Two broken links
David Grant: And a mobile app that always seems to crash
Dan Gingiss: Bum bum!

[SEGMENT INTRO][CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX]

. . . jingle bells . . .

[CHRISTMAS CAROL REMIX: We Thank You For Always Listening – to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas]

Dan Gingiss: So we’re nearing the end of our little musical experiment today and we certainly hope that you enjoyed it. One of the things that we’ve always said is that when we set out to do a show about customer experience we really wanted to make sure that it was an experience to listen to it – otherwise we wouldn’t actually be practicing what we’re preaching – so we think we’ve achieved that today, and we hope you enjoyed it.

Joey Coleman: And we’re not sure if an entirely musical episode was a good idea for an experience or not, but here’s the thing folks, when it comes to your customer experiences, you need to try new things. You need to see what resonates and what doesn’t, and so we appreciate you listening along to the end of the show on this little experiment we did here on the show. For our final number, we’d like to dedicate this version of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” to you – our loyal listeners. As you’re about to hear, “We Thank You, for Listening,” to the show…

Dan Gingiss: We thank you for always listening,
We thank you for always listening,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Joey Coleman: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Joey Coleman: We read – so you don’t need to,
We read – so you don’t need to,
We read – so you don’t need to, in each CX Press!

Dan Gingiss: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Dan Gingiss: When Dissecting the Experience,
When Dissecting the Experience,
When Dissecting the Experience, we share the key points!

Joey Coleman: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Joey Coleman: We’ll tell you our personal stories,
We’ll tell you our personal stories,
We’ll tell you our personal stories, in This Just Happened!

Dan Gingiss: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Dan Gingiss: I Love It,  Joey Coleman: I Can’t Stand It,
Dan Gingiss: I Love It, Joey Coleman: I Can’t Stand It,
Dan Gingiss: I Love It, Joey Coleman: I Can’t Stand It, now what about you?

Joey Coleman: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Joey Coleman: We highlight our favorite authors,
We highlight our favorite authors,
We highlight our favorite authors, in each Book Report!

Dan Gingiss: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Dan Gingiss: We look at the things they’re saying,
We look at the things they’re saying,
We look at the things they’re saying, and then ask Say What?!

Joey Coleman: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Joey Coleman: We challenge you to act now,
We challenge you to act now,
We challenge you to act now, with Three Takeaways!

Dan Gingiss: Good stories we’ll share, wherever you go,
We thank you for always listening to Experience This!

Joey Coleman: We thank you for always listening,
We thank you for always listening,
We thank you for always listening….
Dan Gingiss: to Experience This!

[SHOW CONCLUSION]

Joey Coleman: Merry Christmas!

David Grant: Happy Kwanza!

Joe Dziedzic: Season’s Greetings!

Dan Gingiss: Happy Hanukkah!

Joey Coleman: Thanks for listening!

Dan Gingiss: Tune in next week for more… Experience…

Joe Dziedzic: Experience…

David Grant: Experience…

Joey Coleman: Experience…

ALL: THIS! (spoken)

Joey Coleman: If nothing, we’re professionals… see you next week!

[SHOW OUTRO]

Joey Coleman: Wow! Thanks for joining us for another episode of Experience This!

Dan Gingiss: We know there are tons of podcasts to listen to, magazines and books to read, reality TV to watch… We don’t take for granted that you’ve decided to spend some quality time listening to the two of us.

Joey Coleman: We hope you enjoyed our discussions and if you do, we’d love to hear about it! Come on over to ExperienceThisShow.com and let us know what segments you enjoyed, what news segments you’d like to hear… This show is all about experience – and we want you to be part of the Experience This! Show.

Dan Gingiss: Thanks again for your time and we’ll see you next week for more…

Joey Coleman & Dan Gingiss: Experience This!